Have you ever had those moments where it feels as though bad things always seem to happen to you? And then, thinking that things possibly couldn’t get worse, they do?
I’ve been having a hard time of things lately. It happens to all of us at some stage. A dirty smear across the smooth glass of life. The crack that appears when we are not expecting it. Sometimes it’s something big like a death, an illness, or a redundancy. Sometimes it’s something smaller. The unexpected nature of these things and the changes they produce derail us from the life we are attempting to create.
Earlier in the year I had what I thought was a minor accident. It turns out it was a major, surgery is the only fix, and I’ve been having to get used to the idea that I may not be able to go back to my dream job, using the qualifications that I slaved many years to earn. It’s been an emotionally churning, unsettling and guilt-ridden time to say the least. Usually I’d put it down to my incredible bad luck, that just when things are working out how I’d planned, the course changes on me.
It has taken time, but I’m coming to see this as an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to change my way of living and my way of thinking. As long as I can remember I’ve placed pressure on myself to do well, achieve more, study hard, pass the exams, be a good mother, be a good daughter, make more friends, be the perfect partner, work harder. You name it and I bet I’ve bullied myself into trying to be the best that I can be. It has become clear to me now that my identity and happiness isn’t tied up in any one of those things. It may make a small part of me happy to study and work hard but it’s not the be-all and end-all of my life and it shouldn’t be either. Constant pressure for the sake of it does not make for a healthy life.
On my 21st birthday, my grandmother told me that if she was 21 again, she’d let off all her fireworks at once. I’ve often thought about this advice but it is only recently that I’ve really begun to realise the power behind her words.
Life is what YOU make it. It’s not up to anyone else to make you happy.
You must find that happiness for yourself.
You must create your own path and find your own calling.
You must be your own Wonder Woman, cheering for your own cause, believing in your own strength and standing by your choices.